It's been a while
Erlini The Souix. Or The Shoe. or lassoo
Shalbai is not Chi(t)ta. Sitar is.
Summary review: Some beholders, some yaks, some blog reading, head beholder (Beholder head). FG turned up to provide some support and after a brief hesitation simply attacked.
A pause in the fight; most of t'enemy are stuck upstairs, with everards tentacles in the way, Oruro is in the rocks (not the rocs) and Nym is upstairs.
(Pit of despair: Nymraith's new invention. )
Plan of attack: we run away while Forgeillil sets fire to things.
Information gathering recce has turned into kill anyone and nick their library (which is written in yakkity yak, just to do a workable joke to death).
Nym peers into the library. Thanks to his supreme fear, recognises (initiative 175ish+) three beholders heading towards him. Seizing the moment, he vaults diving off the balcony to the floor below shrieking "Beholders!" - Thranduil looks up in the wrong direction and fails to catch him, but Nym's time in dark caverns gathering dodgy mushrooms and growths save him and he rolls smoothly to crash into Hagar and bring them both noisily to a heap.
The three beholders peer over the balcony.
We run away.
(Oruro panics (-40ish perception) as one of the rocks appears to have moved).
Anar gets clobbered by a magic breaking ray and some of his gadgets go bang, including his shockbolt rings
Fg gets charmed and sits down with a nice smile going "ooh daisies".
Oruro fires an arrow and manages the most minor scratch possible (52, but it's AT 20 so 1 pt concussion and uh oh, attention drawn).
The rock in front of Oruro disintegrates. Oruro moves to some other cover.
Everyone else is scattering into the rocks, while the beholders float out from the upper windows.
Val hits one (9AP) drawing blood and slowing it down (stunned one round)
Nym hastes Chita as he's dropped his bow.
Oruro plonks another one, more damage, stunned two rounds.
Thranduil checks for other threats.
Hagar (a bit like R2D2 but less expressive) tries out his spiked bolas: avoids killing any of the rest of the party and clonks a beholder.
Thranduil casts bewildering mischance (one of Bogs made-up spells) based on his own character (eg every roll rolled twice and the worst taken). But fails.
Anar casts power word calm and fails to take. Chita recovers his bow at double speed.
Erlini lesser illusions two more beholders charging in at the existing ones, does better than expected and gets three.
Shalbai shoots one, stunned 3 rounds.
FG runs back, behind the beholders.
Val notices three beholders appear above and behind her as Ouro is turned to stone (!), Thranduil doesn't do the same only just - feels a bit heavy and creaky and stiff. Things were a bit rocky.
Val shoots another (149) and it drops, rises, and shoots off farting to die in 12 rounds.
Tyr keeps an eye on the other three.
Nym hastes (just about 06) again on Chita.
Hagar heads off to pick up his bola.
Ryz (continues to) prepare a summoning
Anar tries calm again (201) and the beholder target goes all sleepily calm (01) and drops slowly to the ground.
Chita looses off two arrows at the remaining angry one plink plink, and it turns to head (ha ha) back to the library. FG lightning bolts it. It wobbles off smoking.
We breathe a sigh of relief. Except for Oruro. Erlini says ignore the remaining beholders as the illusions remain hanging where she put them.
Nym starts collecting bits of beholder for his 'speriments
The snoozing beholder drifts into the eye level of the striding forth Hagar and he clobbers it. But fails to do much damage unfortunately. Val arrives and clobbers it. The beholder is awake again. Hagar hits it again and his axe bounces off out of his hands. Val scratches it a bit more. Thranduil arrives and cuts it a bit more. FG firebolts it and the rear bursts into smouldering. Val strikes again. Eventually, much later, it gives up in disgust and dies.
Oruro stares off into the distance.
The archers plink away at the one that's drifting off and it too eventually deflates and collapses.
Oruro looks very statuesque. Well, he would, but he's just not built right for it.
FG bursts into flame, briefly, but takes no damage. Nym, who is nearby looks surprised. They look at each other "It's not me" they both say and turn to look at the pagoda. A fire element is peeking out. FG leaps to the window in the house of flying bananas kind of way.
The rest are still dancing around the dead beholders, collecting weapons and arrows and things.
Oruro continues to strike a pose.
Anar goes to prod the stone. Chita heads into the pagoda. Erlini and Shalbai head into the pagoda too. They find FG 'mastering' the fire efritti.
("We can verbify most nouns")
The newly mastered fire efritti tells us stuff about the brain and how it serves the library, can turn library assistants into zombies and stuff. There is a human librarian that might help. The jan are likely to have run. There are no more beholders.
The mad yak in the attic has been trying to understand more stuff, been body melding and stuff. Just about holding off the madness.
We sneak up to the library, Nym casts vibrate (09, useless) from a distance but it responds with a confusion on him and he stops to examine the wallpaper. Nobody notices the change, if any. Ryz tries the same but simply fails. Thranduil shoots with an arrow ("any one container is punctured") creating a small puncture leaking slowly; it responds with telekenis sending him 50' backwards out of the pagoda, still one story up. Thranduil checks his falling skill. He lands on his feet, says hi to Oruro (who remains strong and silent) and heads back in.
Shalbai shoots too and an arrow is left sticking out of the brain.
Forgeillil finishes preparing her lightning bolt and the jar and half the statue disappear into a big flash.
All that is left in the building are those too mad or insane to flee - such as the mad head of the yackcult in the attic.
Lots of planning and talking goes on. Nym tastes the wallpaper. It's cool on the tongue.
"Who let the yack ult?"
Val gets bored with the planning and sneaks up to spy on the mad yak. It is large and white and meditating. Taking the opportunity, she sneaks around (successfully) behind it and raises her katana two handed: striking down hard and fast (30 ES - only 06 for critical, even with ambush (-> 11) doesn't do much)
The scuffle attracts the attention of the others on the floor beneath while they mull over the differences between fire walls, elementals, air elementals and a large stick.
Val strikes again (30 ES - poor critical again, stunned)
"Remove curse on one of Martin's characters might just remove it altogether"
Val strikes again (30 ES - cuts off arm) and tough as it is, it dies. She returns (passing Hagar on the way, working his noisy way up the steps) to find people still discussing the merits of fire walls and air elementals.
Tyr tries to remove the curse on Nym, but fails poorly. Nym peers at everyone. The wallpaper was quite tasty. He drools.
Tyr tries the same on Oruro, and again, fails again. Oruro gazes off into the distance.
FG attempts to dispel curse on Oruro (manages to score 111) but fails. But she succeeds on Nym and he comes around, we think. A few questions to him and they inconclusively conclude he's probably cured. He goes off to cut off bits of beholder and pickle or dry them.
Some discussion about the safety of leaving Oruro The Poseur there for the moment. Anar casts dispel magic from a scroll, but fails. Nym considers animating it, but is persuaded not to. Anar throws a tarpaulin over it.
Most of the folks have gone, probably still running down the steps being preyed on by the rocs.
In the library are lots of 8x8" plates detailing everything that ever happened that might be useful; ie mostly useless without the right data mining kit that the yaks were attempting to develop using mind bending extra-planar drugs to spot important patterns etc. There are 4-5 branding styluses for burning runes onto ceramic plates (Anar takes one, Nym another). There are still some human librarians (ex greyrobes mostly) around, who will continue the work until directed otherwise.
Recent work has been using 'si-han', which is what sent the mad yack, well, mad.
Oruro too is pretty stoned.
We are reminded/told of the wider plot: The black blade of Ankara Nutella (Aknaretalla, probably a sword, rather than, say, a shaving razor).
The Shindrick society (Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow) resurrected Early Toadass (E-ly Todmass?) with the book of Tealpic's, a baddy from early Eardy history. He didn't hold to the deal though, and has taken over the Shindrick society. Eel-y is looking for this blade of domination.
So perhaps we can find clues in the library.
Quiz the librarians. Over 6 days we find stuff out: looks Nutella might have been a contemproary of Eel Aye, pre perrin empire. Nutella was very anti-religions and raizing (not raised) temples to any gods he comes across. Did quite well, but was finally taken down by an unholy (ahem) alliance of angels and demons. He and his blade, which they could not destroy, were imprisoned and entombed in a dwarven/elvish combined tomb (ie, not exactly very secret).
Have you got anything for crabs? I've got some mayonaise.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, things are very quiet. There are more support staff than warrior ilin, Kamilata is taking his time ordering another village with mill and small corner shop and is trying to work out whether the peasants should come in mud brown or filth brown. Tud continues to tour the area on his small cart, expanding his knowledge of the area and suitable points for defences, caches, etc.
One morning the dog barks, and we rush to the parapets to see outside a bunch of mezademons, a detachment of gnolls, and a pack of hellhounds, all led by T'kess Deathhand a half flinned half mezademon.
Uh oh, is he after the buried amulet stuff? Don't know. Where did you hide it? Shit, can't remember. Uh oh. Let's hope they're after Forgeillil.
"She's not in"
We've come for the book.
"Er, she's probably got it"
No, I can see it there, buried in the box in the courtyard. Hand it over or I'll raize the country and eat the whole population, including you.
"Ah. Erm. How do we know you won't eat us anyway?"
I'm half devil so I hold to my agreement.
"Well you would say that, I just need to check. Who are you anyway?"
"That sounds a bit painful. Must be hard having a wank. Please hold, your call is important to us"
We consider briefly sending the book off with the blink dog and Tud's nephew while we heroically defend the escape route to death. It's a very brief consider.
Kamilata searches for the book and hopefully a teleportation booth. Finds a shower and stands hopefully in it. Tud also runs around looking busy. Death-hand looks relaxed. The characters sense the firepower brought in by the DM to ensure they hand the book over - so do so. Death-scare is taking it to give to someone else, he says, which is nice of him, and he even more nicely doesn't eat us. Yet.
He disappears in a puff of smoke, along with most of his entourage, and the gnarly gnolls run off into the woody knolls.
Back at the library, two weeks after the Death of the Mad Atticked Yak, a detachment of perrinland soldiers (branden soldiers?) turn up. Apparently the King of Perrinland will hold a presentation about this exposure of yak cult ("A Power Point presentation?" Well there may be power points, yes).
We all nod, except Nym, who might be nodding but has silently disappeared into a big cloud of smoke. The smoke clears to reveal the slightly wide eyed greyrobe clutching a small packet of powder into which he's peering "That's funny, it wasn't supposed to do that"
Using arcane magicks and brute force and the grumbling soldiers, they get Oruro The Stoned down the 9,999 steps onto a cart to take with them. In one piece. Nym looks hungrily at it; little bits of that kind of statue would make awesome item material...